


Burden

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, cute shit, emo sekai, fwb kaibaek, i was sad when I wrote this, lots of fluff though, luhan don't even have lines, mentioned smut, sekai is the endgame ship, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 13:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12706047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Jongin wants to love Sehun, but Sehun deserves more than someone who burdens his life.





	Burden

Jongin pushed open the front door of his shared apartment quietly, hoping this morning it wouldn’t creak, hoping he wouldn’t wake him. He wasn’t proud of his appearance at the moment, marks from an eager mouth were stained against his neck in hues of maroon or violet purples. Eyeliner smeared beneath his eyes along with the very thin black eyeshadow to make his eyes look smoky. His dark brown hair was askew from the hand in it, his shirt was half on, jeans half zipped up and unbuttoned, shoes held on by his fingers. 

He was definitely a sight to behold, and he didn’t want his roommate, well, crush to see him in this state. It’s complicated, Jongin always likes to say, because in reality it is. His crush is in the sugar baby business, clients always had staked their claim on him, leaving Jongin to struggle behind in his rather dull retail job where he sometimes has sex with his co-worker Baekhyun. An eager male shorter than Jongin who was always eager to please, plus he was great to get along with. His crush, Oh Sehun, is modelesque. 

Broad shoulders, nice nose, narrow cold eyes, high cheekbones, pink lips, petite lithe waist, nice thighs and an ass Jongin ogled far too much for his own good. Sehun is also the full package personality wise, funny, sweet, bratty, sarcastic, blunt, caring, shy, etc. Idealistically, Jongin’s dream man, but Sehun made it clear to his best friend Jongin he has no intentions of settling down or even dating, that’s how good the sugar baby business is. Jongin laughs, pretends to be okay with it, when in actuality it hurts to even see Sehun stumble through the door with a new watch on his wrist, or a wad of cash as he screamed about rent for five months is covered. 

 

The door creaked, Jongin winced, it sounded like a gunshot in the dead thick silence of the apartment. He held still, waiting as his breath was barely audible before continuing in and shutting the door behind him. He let his breathing slip back to normalcy as he clambered his way in the pitch dark apartment, bumping into a small side table by their couch and catching the lamp with his free hand before ramming his shoulder into a wall, groaning out silently. 

He planned on it being smoother than this, but as he saw a room light flicker on, Jongin went wide eyed and immediately scurried to his room, throwing himself in his bed with shoes still in hand as the room door now opened seconds after Jongin got in the bed.    
“Jongin? Are you just getting home?” Sehun’s higher pitched voice echoed in the bedroom, squinting tiredly and cutely down at Jongin. His heart raced, nodding very faint as he mumbled. “Yes, is it late?” Truly he didn’t know the time. It could be midnight, it could be four in the morning. Knowing how sex with Baekhyun goes, it was probably closer to four. “3:37, what’s on your neck?” Sehun asked, shuffling towards Jongin, eyes opening more now as he took in Jongin’s sex wrecked appearance.

“Um, nothing.” Jongin mumbled, curling into himself and avoiding Sehun’s gaze as the other sat down on the bed. “You’re kidding me right? You’re keeping stuff from me? We ran away at 16 together, we’re still bestfriends at 24, don’t be a dick. What’s on your neck?” Sehun threw himself at Jongin, tickling his sides making him laugh loudly and throw his head back, exposing the hickeys placed against his neck. “Ah, this is the work of Byun Baekhyun. He really did a number on you tonight.” Sehun’s voice faltered at the end, fingers delicately making their way across the sensitive marks, Jongin sharply inhaled through his nose. “What do you mean?” Jongin whispered, staring up at Sehun who was now staring down at him. His legs straddled over Jongin’s waist, careless smile on his lips as always as he shook his head. 

“Nothing bad, Nini. Are you two seeing each other?” 

Jongin shook his head quickly, he always wanted to remain eligible and single for Sehun, even though Sehun never seemed to show any interest. “We’re very strict on this just being a fuck system when we have no one else.” Sehun laughed at Jongin’s words, staring down at him, leaning closer to him to nudge his nose over the hickeys. “He leaves these far too often for having no one else to fuck, baby.” Baby, the words send shivers down his spine and goosebumps up his arms. “Did I mention he’s incredibly lazy and so am I?”

Sehun lifted his head, rolling his eyes playfully as he stared down at him. “Whatever you say, Jonginnie.” Jongin smiled, bringing his arms around Sehun’s waist, fluttering his eyelashes. He didn’t want to ask but he knew apart of him had to. “And what about you?” Sehun shook his head, cupping Jongin’s cheeks, brushing his thumbs over his cheekbones. “I’m a sugar baby, that’s all. I have no interest in dating them, anyway. Now let’s stop talking and get some rest, we do have things to do tomorrow.” Sehun crawled in the space next to Jongin, both curling into one another as they slipped off into a peaceful sleep together.

 

Jongin and Sehun, childhood best friends who ran away at 16 together to the bustling city of Seoul. Their reasons for running away were different, but who they wanted to run away together with was the same. Jongin and Sehun, stuck together at the hip since their youth couldn’t imagine a life without one another. They laid out on Jongin’s roof one night, it was the only quiet place in the house to escape the constant fighting his parents did. 

“I want to leave, Sehun.” Jongin mumbled, turning on his side to look at his best friend who was just settling into his looks. Sehun turned now to look at a young Jongin, biting on his bottom lip. “Leave?” Jongin nodded, eyes looking now towards the lit bedroom. “My dad, he hit me the other day.” Sehun sat up, scooting closer to Jongin. “Where?” Jongin lifted his shirt, showing the bruise against his ribs, making Sehun scowl at the lit bedroom. “Hate that bastard, leave where?” Jongin shrugged now, putting his shirt down, looking up at Sehun with watery eyes. “I don’t know, I stay for you.” Sehun scoot over to Jongin, like always he rested his head on Jongin’s shoulder, whispering quietly. “My mom’s gotten worse, my brother left, I want to leave too.”

They planned to leave Busan that night and go to Seoul, a split second decision that only happened after a week of planning. Jongin and Sehun took off on a train to Seoul, minimal money in their pockets but they stayed with Sehun’s step brother, Junmyeon. Jobs were first, saving money came second, and now their current apartment is their domain. Sehun got his job as a sugar baby relatively quick, Jongin got his retail job with the help of Baekhyun pretending to know him, for why Jongin never knew. Jongin never got a straight answer when he asked, either.

Together is where they belonged and they both knew it. Jongin didn’t want to complicate anything with feelings and besides, he knew he wasn’t good enough for Sehun. Jongin was Jongin, a wannabe dancer who works in retail and barely brings in money while Sehun did majority of the heavy lifting. Jongin, a guy who laughs at everything and pets every dog he sees, Jongin, a normal guy who couldn’t possibly be anything Sehun wants. Jongin is why Sehun’s only source in life is to be a sugar baby, Jongin ruined Sehun’s life. He didn’t deserve to love Sehun, Sehun only deserved the best and nothing less. 

 

Jongin stumbled into work, fixing the blue retail shirt for the store as he desperately tried to keep the scarf around his neck to hide the scattered bruises from Baekhyun, who was giving him a shit eating grin from behind the register. “Covering up beauty, Jongin?” Jongin rolled his eyes, going behind the register to settle in his belongings, clocking in immediately after. “Not everyone likes to see hickeys.” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, nudging Jongin lightly. “How’s Sehun?” Jongin didn’t have to look at Baekhyun to know he was wiggling his eyebrows to accompany the nudging he was receiving to his side. “At work, being a sugar baby, still not having feelings for me, and I’m not good enough, same as usual.” Baekhyun sighed audibly, making Jongin look at him with a little pout on his lips.    
“You’re still stuck on not being good enough for him? He chose to run away with you. You’re killing yourself over this.” Jongin shrugged, and then decided he wasn’t going to go in with this with Baekhyun anymore than he needed to. “So, I see you’re not wanting to talk about that, let’s talk about what you’re doing tonight.” Jongin smiled now, he knew this was Baekhyun’s way of trying to get him to go out. “Nothing, that’s what I’m doing tonight.” Baekhyun whined, glaring at him. “No! You’re going out with me, what else are you going to do?” 

Jongin definitely had options, he could wait at home for Sehun, he could cook and have dinner with Sehun, he could watch a movie with Sehun, then he could cuddle with Sehun, then he could sleep with Sehun. “Be with Sehun.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, groaning out loudly. “Wow for two people who claim to either not like each other, you both spend so much time together like a fucking couple.” Jongin’s cheeks flushed pink, looking over at Baekhyun once more. “No, stop, we’re best friends.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time. “Whatever, invite him. Come on.” Jongin sighed. “I was out with you last night, he thinks we’re seeing each other.” 

Baekhyun went quiet for a moment, looking over at him. “He’s asked that before right?” Jongin nodded, snorting quietly. “Yeah, as if we would see one another.” Baekhyun jabbed his side, both giggling. “Shut up! It wouldn’t be bad if we did see one another. Anyway, I think he’s jealous. You’re jealous all the time, how are you not seeing that?” Jongin looked over at him, pressing his lips together in a line. “I’m not jealous all the time. I’m staying home tonight with Sehun and that’s it.” Baekhyun sighed, nodding, looking around at the empty shop. “Can we make out or something?” Jongin went to answer ‘no’ when the door opened. 

Sehun’s broad shoulders caught Jongin’s attention, making his lips part and heart speed up. “No, the answer to that is no,” he went to say hi to him until he saw a man follow him in. A client, probably Wu Yifan judging by how tall the man was. Jongin turned to Baekhyun, brushing his finger over his right nostril three times, a signal between them which meant Sehun’s with a client. Jongin turned back to the counter, seeing Sehun and the man step up to the register. “Hi, I’m looking for a suit for my partner here.” The man spoke, Jongin only stared at Sehun until blinking up at the man, eyes doe like. “Um, my co-worker here will direct you with that.” Jongin fixed the scarf once more, watching Baekhyun now guide the both of them away, making Jongin sigh out with his head buried in his hands. 

He hated when Sehun brought clients to work, he hated it a lot. Jongin ran his fingers through his hair and kept his eyes closed until he heard a light knock on the counter, looking up he saw Sehun looking down at him. “Sorry I forgot to say goodbye to you in the morning before I took off.” Jongin put on a fake smile, sitting up, now. “It’s okay.” 

Sehun always had a knack for noticing Jongin’s fake smiles. “What’s wrong?” Sehun asked, Jongin mentally cursed himself for ever thinking he could pull one over on Sehun. “Nothing, swear. Your man is looking for you.” Jongin saw the taller man eye over to the counter. “Client. See you at home.” Sehun corrected, turning around to walk over back to suits. Jongin stared longingly, hurt that it was him who gave Sehun this life, hurt that he didn’t deserve the one person he loved from the start.

 

Pizza, a favorite of Jongin’s besides chicken. He already ate his half of the pizza and he waited for Sehun to get home to finish the other half. 11:30, he knew Sehun wasn’t going to be home but Jongin liked having high hopes. ‘Won’t be coming home, see you tomorrow Jonginnie, love you.’ Sehun texted him right on cue, Jongin sighed quietly, heart feeling empty in contrast to his full stomach. 

Jongin had one other friend, and he knew calling him meant for smeared black eyeshadow and eyeliner, messy hair, and possibly a spilled drink on a shirt but it’ll be worth it if it meant not thinking about Sehun. Jongin texted back an ‘I love you too’, then loaded his phone app to call Baekhyun. “Nini! Where’s Sehun?” Jongin sighed quietly. “Didn’t come home, I’m all yours.” Baekhyun giggled into the phone before speaking softly into the phone. “I’ll pick you up, and we’ll just go to my place okay? I know this isn’t your scene.” Jongin smiled, sniffling quietly. “Thanks.”

 

Baekhyun’s apartment wasn’t anything like Jongin’s, it was a hot mess but it was very Baekhyun. Jongin was pinned down against the couch, lips sloppily meeting Baekhyun’s in slow languid yet needy kisses. “So he didn’t come home?” Baekhyun asked, making Jongin nod, whining into the kiss when Baekhyun’s hand found Jongin’s sensitive spot on his thigh. “Yes, he didn’t come home,” he pulled away, “why are we talking about Sehun?” 

Baekhyun leaned down, lips dragging against Jongin’s exposed inner thigh, nipping softly against it. “You’re sad, you’re not kissing me the same.” Jongin whimpered out quietly, sitting up now and carefully moved his leg to not hit Baekhyun. “I wanted to spend the night with him, not that you’re not great and stuff, but you know.” Baekhyun got up and straddled over Jongin’s lap, holding his face. “I know, let’s just relax okay?”

Jongin went to speak when his phone rang, he immediately answered upon seeing Sehun’s name. “Sehun?” Sehun sniffled into the phone. “Pick me up please, Gangnam district, La Vie Penthouses, please Nini.” Jongin looked over at Baekhyun, urgency spiking his veins and eyes wide. “I’ll be there, stay safe, text me the whole time.” He hung up after Sehun gave confirmation. “I need to get Sehun.” Baekhyun looked at Jongin, holding his face for a moment before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, their lips moved together slowly. Baekhyun nipped on Jongin’s plush lower lip, tongue darting over his lower lip until they broke away. “Sorry, you have kissable lips. I’ll drive.”

Jongin didn’t have it in him to argue Baekhyun, scrambling out to the car. The drive through Seoul was a fast one since traffic was dead silent. “Thank you, Baek.” Baekhyun laughed quietly at Jongin’s words. “Don’t mention it, let me sleep over tonight and we’ll call it even.” Jongin nodded, giggling. “Yeah, of course.” Gangnam district wasn’t far, it was a matter of time before they got to the penthouses were Sehun was sitting outside the building.

“Thank you- oh, Baekhyun, thank you too.” Sehun said quietly getting in the backseat. “No problem, Sehun.” Jongin turned to look at Sehun, red eyes, puffy cheeks and red nose. “What happened?” Sehun rolled his eyes, scoffing. “The guy was a total dick, he refused to pay me and I even had sex with him, so I called the agency and they charged his saved card on my account and he kicked me out. Sorry for interrupting your night, whatever you both were doing.”

Baekhyun spoke now, thankfully since Jongin had his hand balled in a fist until his knuckles were white. “Sounds like a dick, I’m sorry Sehun. It’s okay, we weren’t doing anything. Is it okay if I stay over?” Sehun nodded, Jongin stayed looking at him with a tight smile. “I don’t mind, really, you’re giving me a ride home.” Jongin hummed, reaching for Sehun’s hand. “You deserve better.” Sehun smiled, leaning forward to kiss Jongin’s forehead, squeezing his hand. “That’s why I have you, don’t I?” Jongin smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes in agreement. 

 

Sehun stayed in his room, Baekhyun laid beside Jongin. “Jongin, he really likes you, you’re good enough for him.” Jongin shook his head, cuddling into Baekhyun. “It’s my fault he even got into that situation, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun sighed, running his fingers through Jongin’s hair. “He chose to do that, he chose to run away with you, he chose you. You didn’t make him do this.” Jongin looked up at Baekhyun, smiling up at him for a short moment. “Can I check on him?” Baekhyun nodded, snorting, detangling himself from Jongin. “Mhm, I’ll be asleep by the time you get back.”

Jongin hopped out of the bed, going over to Sehun’s room, pushing the door open to see him on his phone. “Hey, Sehunnie.” Sehun smiled, scooting over on the bed as Jongin crawled over on it. “Nini, baby, hi. You left Baekhyun alone in there?” Jongin nodded, carelessly shrugging. “Yeah, but he knows you’re my number one.” Sehun brought his arms around Jongin, letting Jongin easily snuggle into the embrace, looking at Sehun with sad eyes. “I don’t want to ruin anything between you two.” Sehun whispered, making Jongin shake his head. “There is nothing between us. Please believe me.” 

Sehun furrowed his eyebrows, looking at him. “You always are so dead certain there is nothing between you two, why?” Jongin stared at Sehun, seeing all the stars in the sky flash in the brown iris’ and galaxies of suns and moons dance in the never ending pupil. Jongin saw his universe in those eyes, and he knew that was why. “Because, we don’t like each other like that.” Sehun hummed, nodding, kissing Jongin’s nose. “If you say so.”

Jongin nodded, leaning his head down to hide his pink tinted cheeks but also to exhale softly from his nose in guilty. “I’m sorry.” Sehun lifted his chin, laughing softly. “For what?” Jongin rubbed his eyes, leaning into Sehun. “I’m why you live this life, your life would be so beautiful if it weren’t for me.” Sehun shook his head, cupping the tan face in front of him. “My life is nothing if there is no you. You could have ran away without telling me and I would have tried to find you. It’s you and me, Jongin. I chose to be a sugar baby, silly.” Jongin blinked out a few tears, sniffling quietly as he nodded, inhaling slowly. “I feel like its my fault and I don’t deserve you around.” Sehun shook his head quickly, kissing his forehead. “No, no angel. It’s not, you saved me, you took me away from my alcoholic druggie mother. I can’t thank you enough.”

Jongin nodded, sniffling and smiled faintly, burying his face in Sehun’s neck and brought his arms around him. The discussion made him feel better, less like a trash can and more of something of value. That maybe he could be deserving of Oh Sehun.

 

“Your new client is Luhan? CEO of that home technology stuff?” Baekhyun asked in disbelief, shoveling his mouth of grilled kimchi beef the next day for dinner. Sehun nodded, giggling as he ate too, Jongin saw those chances of being with Sehun disappear as fast as the thought came. “Yeah! He’s so nice, seems like we would click. How’s stuff going at the store?” Jongin ate quietly, stuffing his mouth with food any chance there was a time for him to answer a question so Baekhyun would talk. 

“Fine, Jongin’s making good commission on top of his hourly pay. I am stellar.” Jongin nodded along, rubbing his nose. He stared down at his plate, before clearing his throat and looking over to Baekhyun. “Can we go to your place tonight? You have that one movie you said I have to watch.” Jongin rubbed his nose, then tapped his chin, a clear signal of Jongin distress.  “Oh yeah, you’re the only idiot who hasn’t seen Predator.” Baekhyun smoothly got out, smiling with a nod. 

“Oh goodie! I can invite Luhan over!” Jongin felt his heart ache, nodding with a tight fake smile, he knew Sehun would catch on but he would leave after anyway so it wouldn’t matter. He should have known Sehun would be interested in someone who can offer him more than whatever Jongin offered in the first place. Jongin knew he didn’t have a lot to offer, he worked in a shitty retail job, made shitty money, can barely cook, and well, he may be handsome but he knew Sehun deserved even more. 

“I’m done, come on Jongin you’re such a slow eater.” Baekhyun jabbed his side, snapping Jongin back into the real world that wasn’t covered in his insecurities. Jongin looked up at him, pushing the plate away and stood up, quiet and solemn in his tone. “I’m done. See you tomorrow, Sehun.” Sehun flashed him a look, an all knowing look that something was wrong with Jongin, but Jongin turned his head away and just grabbed his wallet, stepping outside the apartment to wait in the cold. 

It didn’t take Baekhyun any longer than a couple of minutes, the shorter male reaching down to hold Jongin’s. “It’s so obvious you like him, you were so happy until he mentioned Luhan. He has to know.” Jongin shook his head, going down the stairs to Baekhyun’s parked car. “If he does know then that means even more it’s one sided and I need to get over this. He’s gonna start being with Luhan. His face literally lit up, he’s never done that.” Baekhyun sighed quietly, stopping them in the middle of the parking lot to look at Jongin. “Before you decide to move on, tell him. Tell him and at least see, if shit falls apart you can stay with me and we’ll work things out. If it works out, you’ll know and be happy with him. Okay?” Jongin nodded, swallowing the thought of Sehun down thickly before deciding it was the best thing to do. “Okay. Just um, can I do it now so if something does go wrong I can run back out here to you?” Baekhyun chuckled, nodding, pushing Jongin playfully. “Yeah, go.”

Jongin took a deep breath, turning around and ran back up to the apartment, bending down underneath the mat to grab the spare before stepping in. “Jonginnie, are you okay?” Blood rushed to Jongin’s head, his heart beat after that was all he could hear in his ears, his mouth felt dry, his tongue felt barren, his palms were starting to sweat. “Um, can I talk to you?” He heard his voice shaking, he heard the way he sounded scared. “Yeah, sit down or something you’re shaking.” 

Jongin followed Sehun to the couch, taking a seat he felt slightly better, noticing now how his hands were still shaking and his face increasingly grew hotter reaching down the back of his neck. Jongin swallowed, looking up at the beautiful brown eyes he was sure he loved, slowly he inhaled before speaking now. “Sehun, you don’t have to say anything back to make me feel better, I want you to be honest with me and tell me the truth.” Sehun nodded, Jongin bit on his bottom lip before continuing, voice only shaking more. 

“I have feelings for you, I’ve had feelings for you for such a long time and I want to be something with you at some point, type of feelings. You’re everything to me, and um, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. But I have to tell you, cause I need to know.” Jongin watched Sehun who looked stoic, Jongin already knew the answer wasn’t going to be an answer he liked. “I, I’ve thought about it but I haven’t tried looking at you in that way but maybe if I-” Jongin stood up and shook his head, heart burning like black smoke was making it hard to breathe as his heart got consumed by raging flames. “No, I don’t need you to take pity on me. I’m going to go with Baekhyun now. I hope this doesn’t change anything.” Jongin was already walking out the apartment, waiting till he stepped outside to wipe the tears falling from his eyes down his cheeks. 

He dashed down the stairs the second he heard the doorknob jiggle, running his way to Baekhyun’s car ignoring the pleas from Sehun to come back. “Drive, just drive.” Jongin broke out through sobs, Baekhyun looked up at Sehun who stood just beyond the parking lot, staring at the car at Jongin who was balled into the seat with his hands over his face. Baekhyun looked over to Jongin, then back to Sehun, made a signal with his hands to show he’d call, before turning on the car and pulling out the lot to drive to his place. 

 

Jongin bundled up on the couch with a mug of hot tea in between his fingers, tears dried up on his cheeks as he focused on the Predator movie Baekhyun raved about. Already he had complaints, but he’d decided to keep them in until the end and whenever Baekhyun came back into the room. He heard soft murmuring, but he decided not to question it, Jongin kept watching the movie and sipped the tea at his own pace, ignoring the dull fire in his heart of pain. 

“How’s the movie so far?” Baekhyun asked softly, curling up next to Jongin on the couch, running his fingers through the thick black hair. Jongin leaned into the touch, shrugging a little bit. “I have my complaints.” Baekhyun chuckled, taking the mug from Jongin’s hands and set it on the coffee table before crawling into the younger’s lap, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Oh yeah? Like what?” Jongin looked down at Baekhyun, sniffling quietly with a smile. “You hate listening to my complaints.” Baekhyun nodded, meeting Jongin’s gaze. “I know, but you bring out good points I never thought of. Also, I talked to Sehun.”

Jongin looked back at the TV quickly, as if Baekhyun blinded him with a bright light. He hummed in response, blinking away some tears from his eyes. “He told me he didn’t want it to look like pity, he didn’t want to hurt you, and he’s sorry.” Sorry, a word Jongin hated. “Anything else?” He asked, monotonically. “Um, he said you should stay with me for a while.” Jongin looked over at Baekhyun, tears easily falling from his eyes. “He said that?” Baekhyun nodded, hugging Jongin. “He said that it would make things hard and he didn’t want to hurt you more. I told him that making you stay with me was pushing you away and you’d hurt more, but he didn’t listen. He said he’ll help you organize things tomorrow so you can stay here for a little.”

Jongin clung onto Baekhyun, sobs now pouring from his mouth fingers finding the fabric of Baekhyun’s shirt. “I’m sorry Jongin, it’s my fault I’m sorry.” Jongin shook his head, sniffling as he buried his face in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck. “No, I needed to do this, I needed to know. Just, just make me forget.” Baekhyun pulled away, lifting Jongin’s chin with his fingers, free hand wiping away the tears as he rested his forehead against Jongin’s. “Make you forget?” Jongin nodded, sniffling, biting on his bottom lip. “No fucking tonight okay, Nini?” Baekhyun recited, Jongin giggled quietly, nodding with his eyes closed as he let Baekhyun press kisses to his wet cheeks beneath his eyes. “Cute, he’s missing out.” 

Jongin felt himself smile, leaning forwards to press his lips to the thin ones in front of him, letting Baekhyun do everything in his power to forget about Oh Sehun. He became indulged in everything Baekhyun, so used to the ways that Baekhyun knew how Jongin liked to be kissed, slow and sensual and like if they pulled away they’d part. Jongin didn’t think about what it would be like to kiss Sehun, instead he liked that it was Baekhyun here instead. He liked the way Baekhyun held his face with his thin hands, tangling into his hair and how Baekhyun could always make him let out a breathy sound just at a nip to his full lips. 

Baekhyun could make Jongin forget about Sehun in the moment, Jongin knew that much, but Jongin knew he couldn’t permanently slip into a timeframe where he’d forget the guy he loved who didn’t love him back. 

 

“So your complaints are that the Predator didn’t get enough recognition?” Baekhyun asked, walking hand in hand with Jongin up to his apartment. “Yes, literally the movie is called Predator but it’s about humans.” Jongin gave him a ‘what gives’ face, making Baekhyun laugh as they grabbed the spare beneath the mat. Baekhyun tsked. “The Predator isn’t the good guy, Jongin.” Jongin shrugged, stepping in, not looking around for Sehun this time since he really didn’t want to see him. “The Predator is what the movie is named after. Like, in alien, the aliens were all over the place, but in this movie it was about Arnold and humans. Predator is super cool and they just have a beef cake in the way.”

Baekhyun snorted, walking to Jongin’s bedroom. “Beef cake, did you call Arnold Schwarzenegger a beef cake?” Jongin shrugged again but this time with a faint laugh. “He’s all muscle, isn’t that what a beef cake is defined as?” Baekhyun shook his head, leaning up to Jongin to bite over a fresh hickey from last night. “No, you’re a beef cake. Now, let’s pack your shit.” Jongin didn’t know what all to take, he didn’t have much anyway so he grabbed his biggest suitcase and started tossing clothes in. 

“You don’t have to take everything.” Jongin heard Sehun from behind, he stood up straight, turning around to be met with Sehun who had a red tipped nose and bloodshot eyes. Jongin knew he had been crying, but he didn’t know for what. “You’re kind of kicking me out.” He said quietly, feeling Baekhyun’s hand run along Jongin’s waist for added comfort. “I’m not, I just think some space from me will help. I don’t want to hurt you, Jongin.” Jongin rolled his eyes, sniffling quietly as he tilt his head back to contain any tears. “Right, pushing me away when you’re my best friend since I can remember definitely doesn’t hurt. I’m just going to take all my clothes, bathroom stuff, and I’ll be out of your hair.” 

Jongin looked at Sehun who had tears falling down his cheeks. “You made this really hard.” Jongin scoffed, rolling his eyes as more tears fell down his cheeks. “You think I wanted to love you? You think I wanted to take love my best friend and have no chance of him ever loving me back? You think I woke up one day and was like ‘hey let’s love Sehun!’. No, feelings are uncontrollable. You’re the one making this hard, you’re kicking me out, you’re pushing me away, you’re treating me like I don’t matter like our friendship doesn’t really matter.”

Sehun wiped at his eyes, staring at him. “You know it matters, I ran across South Korea with you, to be happy with you.” Jongin nodded, scrunching up his nose as tears endlessly fell down his face, leaning into Baekhyun who was holding him now. “Yeah, and I make things hard for you. Sorry, sorry for everything. For telling you I wanted to run away, and sorry I told you the truth.” Sehun stepped over to him, Jongin only looking away. “I didn’t mean it. You make my life pretty and whole.” Jongin shook his head, wiping his eyes. “No, I make things hard for you.” Sehun gripped Jongin by the jaw, turning his face to make Jongin look at him, teary eyes staring at one another. “You make things hard for me but I’m not me without you.” 

Jongin jerked his head away, leaning more into Baekhyun who was now rubbing his back. “Then this isn’t for me, this is for you, to make things easy for you.” Jongin turned his back now, grabbing all the clothes in a rush to toss them in the suitcase. “You’re not listening to me.” Jongin didn’t turn around, still fitting everything he can. “What is there to listen to? You don’t have feelings for me, you’re kicking me out, I make things hard for you.” Sehun ran over to Jongin, yanked him by his shoulder to turn around. “I am not kicking you out, and you’re not getting it when I say you complete me, I can’t have you gone forever. I can’t keep hurting you.” Jongin exhaled from his nose, nodding faintly. “I’ll never go far. I’ll never be far from you.” Sehun brought his arms around Jongin, and for the first time Jongin didn’t want to hug him back because he knew he would fall weak and want to stay in those arms for as long as time allowed. He wanted to love Sehun forever. He hugged back, pulled away quickly, sniffling quietly. “I’ll get packing now.” 

 

Baekhyun’s bed was definitely different from his own and Sehun’s. For one, Baekhyun was a clingy cuddler which Jongin didn’t mind. For two, the bed was softer, the blankets heavier, overall warmer. For three, Jongin wasn’t next to Sehun, the thought alone made him feel restless besides the perfect conditions for sleep. “Thinking about him?” Baekhyun whispered, head resting on Jongin’s shoulder. “Yeah.” Baekhyun hummed, going silent for a moment. “I don’t like how he treated you, today.” 

Jongin turned his head, making out the shadows of Baekhyun’s hair in the dark. “I didn’t handle it well, either.” Baekhyun looked up, pressing a delicate kiss to Jongin’s lips before mumbling against them. “He made you feel worse about yourself, now I bet you feel like you make things hard on people.” Jongin didn’t want to admit it but it was true. He felt like he was burdening Baekhyun by being here. “I’m sorry.” Baekhyun shook his head, lips brushing over Jongin’s. “Don’t. Jongin you light up my life, I love having you here. You don’t make things hard on me, I’m glad you’re next to me in bed right now.” Jongin ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, sniffling quietly. “Your ex boyfriend, Chanyeol, total dick for letting you go.” They both laughed, Baekhyun shrugged a little. “Maybe he had to go so we could be close. Sehun’s missing out on you. I believe there will be a day when he realizes he loves you, and that’s why he needs you in his life. For now, I’ll take his place, and I’ll do my best to make sure you feel good, because you do that for me.” Jongin leaned forward, meeting his lips to Baekhyun’s, simple and chaste. “Don’t fall in love with me now.” Jongin giggled, making Baekhyun giggle in return. “Me? Fall in love with you? Never. You’re just my incredibly sexy friend with benefits. I have my eye on someone already.”

Jongin gasped, sitting up on his knees, giggling loudly as he straddled over Baekhyun. “And you didn’t tell me! Who?” Baekhyun laughed, looking up at Jongin. “You know the manager who always seems high?” The guy sprung to Jongin’s mind immediately. “Yixing? He seems very your type.” Baekhyun nodded, sly grin on his face. “He is.” Jongin rolled his eyes, thinking that living with Baekhyun was a good set up for him already.

 

A month passed, he hadn’t seen Sehun since that day, rarely do they text. Jongin’s heart called for him like he was homesick, but he ignored the call and cried in the bathroom at work when he got a chance to. It was like that for a while now, Baekhyun always helped him, he didn’t think this idea was a good one in the first place but being apart from Sehun was worse than hearing him talk about clients hands down. 

He held his head up with his hands, elbow rested on the checkout counter, staring down at the glass as he closed his eyes. His mind projected images of Sehun and him, running around Seoul, it was like he could feel Sehun’s hand in his own still, he could hear the laugh bubbling in his ears, spreading through his heart like wildfire. Sehun, Jongin regrets falling in love with him, regrets telling him, regret regret regret. A broken record now of Kim Jongin’s life. 

“Jongin?” A familiar voice spoke, making him open his eyes to see Sehun standing in front of him. He looked the same, beautiful as ever but bags underneath his eyes and bloodshot in appearance. “Sehun?” He stood up straight, knee bumping into the counter which made him wince. Sehun giggled, but it got cut short, Jongin noticed the sadness in his eyes. “I talked to Baekhyun, he said you could get off work, I need to talk to you.” 

Jongin nodded, stepping away from behind the counter, following the broad shouldered male out the shop and over to a bench just outside of it. The wind was warm, air humid, a normal day in Seoul that felt abnormal since Jongin hadn’t seen Sehun in a month. The man he loves felt like a stranger, and oh he hated that feeling. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.” Jongin spat out, head tilted down in shame as he sniffled, inhaling quietly. “You didn’t. I did.” Jongin looked at Sehun with watery eyes. “What?” Sehun shook his head, putting his finger over Jongin’s lips. “I ruined everything. I was scared, and I lied to you and pushed you away.” Jongin felt a warm tear fall down his cheeks. “Lied when?” 

Sehun breathed out quietly, speaking low. “I lied to you when I responded to your confession. I love you so much, I love you more than anything in the world. I ran away with you because I loved you then and the thought of losing you sounded suffocating. You saved me from that hell, you saved me by letting me love you and you didn’t even know. I was scared to let you love me because I, I didn’t want things to fall apart. I didn’t want us to end and I never see you anymore. I thought pushing you away now so you could stop loving me would work, I thought pushing you away would make me not love you. You telling me you loved me made the reality that we could end so much realistic, it made things harder. I thought you and Baekhyun were a thing and I was always so jealous but at least I didn’t have a chance to lose you but then the day came where I could, and I got scared to make it real but I did make it real.” Sehun breathed, tears falling down his cheeks. “I pushed you away and I thought you would come back in a week but you never did and I realized it was my fault. I basically did kick you out, I didn’t answer your texts, and for someone who loves you I’m not good at showing you that I do. I cried everyday, I felt sick when I walked by your room because you weren’t in there. I love you so much Kim Jongin, and I’m sorry I lied and said I didn’t. Do you still love me?”

Jongin’s heart was racing, tears cascading down his face as he nodded, speechlessly. “I love you more than anything, everything, it’s been so hard I just wanted to wake up and see you.” He breathed out, moving forward now to bring his arms around Sehun. “I’m sorry I made things harder I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He recited out, burying his face in Sehun’s neck as he inhaled the sandalwood cologne he longed for. “You didn’t baby, you didn’t do anything wrong, don’t apologize I’m sorry I made you feel this way. I love you.” Jongin laid soft kisses to the exposed shoulder that was getting wet with tears. “I love you so much, I love you.” 

Jongin lifted his head, Sehun already staring at him, he leaned forward and let his lips envelope the full ones in a sweet kiss that lasted a few moments but nothing but fireworks went off in Jongin’s mind and heart. Small pecks were scattered here and there, nips as well. “Tell Baekhyun his hickey days are over. I can tell these are new.” Sehun murmured, Jongin giggled. “I will. I love you.” Sehun smiled, nudging his nose over Jongin’s. “I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> HEY SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO PUT OUT OTHER STUFF, SCHOOL N WORK N STUPID BOYS (boys are dumb, exo is all that matters) GOT IN MY WAY BUT HERE WE ARE. SORRY IF ITS SHIT.


End file.
